Dear HR, I don’t care what ATS or CRM you use. Yours Truly, The Planet.

We just want to use our devices. As future workers, please realize we engage with our devices. We are cool with uploading an attachment, a Dropbox link, wrapping a profile (LinkedIn, Monster, Indeed, Snagajob, whatever) and we will do a few swipes right, left, up and down to answer your questions about whatever you ask. That is legit and we get it.

You have not been listening. Thousands of us have sounded off in feedback surveys. We know you know the candidate experience rating plummets as application time lengthens, and how drop off rates increase the longer the apply process is…so thanks for listening. We are so appreciative of you asking and doing NOTHING to change it. XOXO. So let’s call it on which system you use “on behalf of the candidate”. Its over. You get a few swipes of our time, we want some alerts and the ability to check status. Just like any other single consumer oriented service.

Hey Google, send my resume to…Do you think we care what inventory system Amazon, Walmart or Rent the Runway use?? Umm…NO. We just want our stuff. We want to order it, track it (maybe) but certainly get it. If we can, we just want to talk out loud and get our stuff. This is what you are competing with. For whatever reason you think you are special and have no need to conform to how we do anything else. BOO.

So to all the HR systems talking about how awesome your “candidate experience” is…just stop. Flip your script. Start describing how the recruiter, HR and hiring managers we engage with use your system better. The happier they are, the better they treat us. On your website, list your feature and benefit set showing how they are better off, cause frankly if we can’t swipe right like Tinder, we are moving on. So make that a standard for us and stay focused on them. Help them help us.

We love gifts, especially one with a Ribbon, Wrap and is Assembled with Batteries. We love something pretty and opening up stuff. Having it all built and ready to wear or play with. You know a gift that sucks? A hutch from IKEA. “Oh…thanks Jon. It is an IKEA hutch. I am so excited that you got me something that takes 45 minutes to build.”

You know its a crappy gift when the person getting it says “oh…its a [insert gift].” Do you really want us saying “oh, its a 45 minute application”. So you know, its a wonderful surprise to apply and have it be easy. This means we have more time to cruise through Glassdoor, your website, your videos and your products so we can say “yes, this would be a cool place to work”. And then we swipe right to apply.

We have have hope for HR. We have hope for you. We know you will come around. You will seek out ways to make this fun, easy and inviting. Our patience has a limit though. At some point we will just move on to a place that respects our time, and gives us better gifts. Remember, our attention span is about 5 minutes now. #MovingOn #SorryNotSorry

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